The LED on the gown displays a beautiful yellow color to symbolize day light. The LED switches to a deep blue night color and again to yellow. Day after day. By moving my arms, jumping, walking, falling down I alter this cycle. The more I stress the less I am able to observe the cycle of life. I cannot really observe myself. I need somebody else to tell what they see on my gown LED. Beautiful or less beautiful patterns can arise while I busy myself. These patterns do not always match the lilac color of my gown. I understand more and more the programs that govern my gown but I do not fully understand the relationships between my movements and its effects. I needed the help of both my student Hallgeir to write the code and my friend, fashion design Urd, to find my unique lilac Lilypad gown, and I need Daniela who believes in science, to observe my gown and its program to find the motivation to change. I do not fully understand the details of acceleration but I am aware I will. I know that the beautiful cycle of yellow and deep blue will come again and again. More at http://artentnu.wordpress.com/blog/

Thomas Østerlie get his phd yesterday. I was the first supervisor, together with Reidar Conradi and Eric Monteiro. The opponents Briony Oates and Alberto Sillitti made a wonderful job and dared to stimulate discussions about the big topics like science and generalization. I was just there. At the end of the evening, after a deliciuos dinner I gave a speach on the importance of "being there". I did not manage to finish my speach as I started to cry. But at least I managed to be there, to start my speach and touch the topic of the importance to be there, as employees, as supervisors, as parents, as human beings. Congratulations to Thomas, and thanks to Reidar and Eric for being there when I could not.

It is Saturday morning. I have not planned to work. I have not worked during week ends for ages if you exclude special events like researcher days or festivals. On weekend I have to think of my self, my family, and my house. I have already shopped and bought newspapers. I read the Local Adressavisen and my eyes are catched by this job opening.

We encourage women to apply. NTNU has few women in technical positions and we therefore encourage women to apply. Yes but why?

I have spent 25 years of my life in technical positions. 4 years as a computer science student at the university of Pisa, 5 years at Politecnico in Torino as a PhD student and assistant professor. Almost 14 years totally at NTNU Gløshaugen, as a guest researcher, førstamanuensis and professor (seven years). It happens they call me for role model, but I am not.

I seat in the most peripheral office of the IT-building. My office is beautiful and colored as a one expects the office of a normal woman to be. I wear normal clothes and lipstick and small shoes. I have an urge to talk and to admit that sometimes I do not know what I want. I believe intelligent people, men and women, have doubts and do not know what is the best to do. Even those who write research applications that state precise goals for the next 4 years like Gods who know everything about the past, the present, and the future should be able to share doubts. I have an urge to share my doubts and my thoughts. Each time I do, I experience bad consequences and loss of power.

My father used to say that I should not talk to people as people would have cheat me. He was a man. He had his power.

My mother talks too much and laughs and cries and quarrels. She never worked a single day in her life and she cannot understand my life as a professional. It happens during meetings I talk inside my self with my mother, and even my grandmother, an old respected school teacher who died a couple of years ago. She said what she thought and she laughed and cried too.

I admire those women who have power, our pro-rector for research for example. I do not have power. Associate professors seat as heads of the research and education committees. As a full professor I had never been in any of these 2 committees before. I had to ask explicitly to enter the education committee as a member. I teach a course where the coordinator is an adjunct assistant professor who is not even a computer scientist.

I do not know concretely which power I want, it may be the case why I seat in the most peripheral office, beautiful and colored, I participate to art festivals and dissemination events and I cannot decide education and research issues.

These may be the challenges of me, one foreign woman with normal clothes and lipstick and small pretty shoes. These may be more general challenges and reasons why we have few women in technical positions. Is it enough to encourage them to apply? Are we cheating them?

Software engineering research and its impact on IT business and education

it happens I believe it is an expression that evaluates to false. mission impossible I think.

but I think of my young students and friends and of those few who manage and I do not give up. I try to leave the general equation and concentrate on things to do and messages to give. And I smile, angry like a wolf, but I try to smile. I do not read emails and I smile and I work.



p.s. in this picture NTNU rector and I. I look tired as somebody who has worked for many hours without sleep.

I will attend ars electronica and after that a meeting in Pisa. Away from Friday to Wed. I have never learnt how to write wed. in English. I learned German in school not English. I am looking forward to ars e.

Reidar Conradi er så opptatt av spørsmålet "hvorfor har vi flere kvinner med utenlandsk bakgrunn i vår forskningsgruppen og generelt i Norge og internasjonalt?". Jeg tror, når jeg ser på meg og mine venninner (her referer jeg konkret på Laura Giarre') at vi har studert og videre holdt ut i en verden dominert av menn, teknologien, og intellektuelle utfordringer, fordi vi ville demonstrere til oss selv, og til omverden at vi var sterke nok og flinke nok. I andre ord, har vi tjent vår likestilling ved hjelp av teknologien, forskning, og intellektuelt arbeid. Jeg observerer at unge skandinaviske kvinner velger bort teknologi yrker og studier i større grad enn kvinner i latinske land. Skandinaviske kvinner opplever likestillingen og har utviklet selv tillit gjennom sine mødre, fedre og jevnalder menn. Min teori er at skandinaviske kvinner ikke trenger teknologien som middel til frigjøring og selv tillit. Om min teori validitet og dets konsekvenser klarer jeg ikke å generalisere om.

Presentation for the PhD students of the software engineering group. Reflecting again about blogs and dissemination. I am aware that the volume is too low. Mention Laura and our blog activities and my heart blog, this one.